That was Mary’s lament last night after I told her that she can no longer soak her feet on the bathroom sink and use this same small sink like a bathtub.

And then she says, “I hate my life!”  So very dramatic. 

It turns out she was also remembering our latest trips to some stores yesterday.  I had arranged a playdate for her with one of her Kindergarten classmates and I had wanted to get some things that they can do together.  We went to Super Target to get some muffin mix so we could have a little baking session, then we went to Michaels (craft store) to get some Halloween-related crafts that they could do.  I did not want to spend too much money, only what was needed so I told her Mary as we were going into the stores, “We are only getting what we need, ok?”  She had other ideas, of course.  She wanted to get whatever she wanted. “No, we are only getting what we need for this afternoon.”  I thought she understood.

So, it is mostly… “Everybody” refers to me and her Dad and the “No!” part is for the stuff that she does not get to buy.

Rather than get exasperated and upset that my five-year-old daughter hates her life (does this mean she also hates me???!!), I stayed calm and explained why Mom and Dad do the things that we do.

  • We say “No!” to keep her safe.  That is one of the primary roles for a parent, to protect their young.  I told Mary that she does not yet know what is good or not good for her and Mom & Dad know.
  • We have to choose on what things we spend our money.  There is rent, electricity, insurance (what is that, Mommy?) and all kinds of bills to pay plus we want to save money for trips we want to take, Christmas presents, etc.
  • Even if we have all the money in the world, we would not want to buy everything we want.  Once, we get things, we need to take care of them, put them away, clean them.  If we have so much stuff, we would spend all our time just taking care of these things, we would not have time to travel, spend time with our family and friends.

Somehow, she understood.  I got her over her feeling that she hates her life.  I’m sure there will be more times that she would feel this way.  And I hope, that at those times, she would be as dramatic about it so her Mom and Dad knows and can help her get over it.