On the Occasion of My Ate’s Birthday

Ate - two syllables - “A”- pronounced as in apple. - “ah’-te” means “Eldest Sister.” 

Much of the close family relations that Filipinos have are said to have been inherited from the Chinese.  Certainly, the name affiliations we use are derived from the Chinese, not sure which dialect- Mandarin or Cantonese or Shangainese or some other.  In a typical Filipino family, at least in the region I was from,

  • the oldest boy in the family is called “Kuya” by the younger members of the family
  • “Ate” - the oldest girl
  • “Diko” - the second oldest boy
  • “Ditse” - the second oldest girl
  • “Sanko” - the third oldest boy
  • “Sanse” - the third oldest girl

For example, I am the fourth child in my family, the second oldest girl— so I have a Kuya, an Ate and a Diko.  My younger sisters call me Ditse.  But, my Kuya or Ate or Diko DO NOT call me Ditse, they just call me with my regular nickname.  Using these “special” names denote respect and a feeling of closeness with one’s family.

People knew, without any further explanation, which one is older or younger, just by what they are called within the family.  When one marries to the family, then you get to be in the same order as your spouse.  So Jack, my Kano husband, can call my older siblings Kuya, Ate and Diko.

My Ate is as good as it gets.  She has all the GOOD elder sister qualities— nurturing, caring, a second mommy.

My Ate is older than me by 4 years.  Now that she is 47 and I’m 43, that age difference is not much of a difference at all.  When we were growing up, it meant that she got to help our mom around the house while my Diko, me and my younger sister gets to play, it meant she was graduating from high school when I was graduating from grade school, it meant that she is done with college when I was just about to embark on my own college experience. 

I am very lucky that I am able to say that I come from a close-knit family, built-in names aside.  I may be in Colorado, Gina, my younger sister in Calgary, Val, the bunso (youngest) in Dubai, Kuya, Ate and Diko in the Philippines— I still feel that pull towards them and my parents.  Occasionally, the four sisters would go on Yahoo! Messenger and do Instant Messaging Conference and it would feel just like we were next to each other and chatting away about everything and nothing. 

Ate, I love you and I wish you all the wonderful things that your heart desire! Stay close…

Ate and MarysMom