Sweet Life With Mary

“A friend in need is a friend indeed.” 

This was has always stumped me— so, if you have a friend who needs you, then he/she is your true friend?

From the Phrase Finder

Meaning

It is sometimes suggested that this phrase means ’someone who needs your help becomes friendly in order to obtain it’. That isn’t supported by the derivation (below). Most people understand it to mean, ’someone who helps you when you are in need is a true friend’.

Origin

A version of this proverb was known by the 3rd century BC. Quintus Ennius wrote: ‘Amicu certus in re incerta cernitur’. This translates from the Latin as ‘a sure friend is known when in difficulty’.

The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations lists it as existing in English from the 11th century. The earliest version I can find is from Caxton’s Sonnes of Aymon, 1489:

“It is sayd, that at the nede the frende is knowen.”

The morality play Everyman also contains similar lines. The play’s date is uncertain and scholars place it as ‘late 15th century’, which could be before Caxton’s work:

Fellowship: Sir, I say as I will do in deed.
Everyman: Then be you a good friend at need;

It has never been easy for me to make friends.  Part of it is I grew up with two sisters and a brother, close to me in age and I never lacked for companionship.  Having playdates with kids from school, having them over at your house was unheard of.  It was only late in high school, that my parents will let me go out with classmates for a movie or any such activity outside of school.  The first friend I can call my very BEST friend is one I made in college.  And the saying was right.  I found her to be a TRUE friend when she came to be in my hour of need.

For Mary, who looks like would be any only child of this marriage (Jack has a “grown-up” daughter from a previous marriage), friends are important and will continue to be an important part of her life.  I am beginning to realize that now.  I still think that it would be tough to sustain friendships from this early age onto your adulthood (as we might move away, or her friends might, etc.) but nonetheless, the foundations of HOW to be a good friend can be started right now.

This morning, one of Mary’s new friends in Kindergarten and who is fast becoming her constant companion and best friend had a crying meltdown about missing her “real mom.” (Mary’s friend is being raised wonderfully by her maternal grandparents while the “real mom” is rehabilitating.)  I did my best to soothe her and I was just so proud of Mary  for sitting down with her instead of playing on the swings (her favorite things to do while waiting for school to start).

November 8th, 2007 | Category: Daily, NaBloPoMo, Parenting | Subscribe to comments | Leave a comment | Trackback URL